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mother of josh, richard, and mutt. lover of books, yarn, and the quiet places. spinner, knitter, kayaker, survivor, vandweller, warrior.

Saturday, March 19, 2011


it's not very often i read something that moves me to tears. not just the blurry eyed, flick-away-with-a-finger-move-on-to-the-next-blog-post kinda tears, but the heart-squeezing-purging-grief-i had-forgotten-was-there kinda tears.

i have alot of friends on the internet. in my wanderings around the country, i have had the joy of meeting so many of them, and deepening those relationships. it has been a hard road, finding community in my life, something to do with knowing from an early age that the world had another story, that there was another way to has been through this "artificial" means of cyberspace that i have cobbled together my community, my tribe. however far-flung they may be, whether or not we have met in the flesh, they are as real and solid as any i have had in my life. and there is something particularly binding in the shared beliefs.... the knowing....that draws us together.

this month i celebrated 26 years clean and sober. i've spent some really peaceful time reflecting on those years these past few weeks, and the nightmare years that preceded them. this is as opposed to all the times i have agonized with guilt and shame, wishing for a different story. to really embrace the path that brought me to this place, this now....that is the miracle of my life today.

i made a new friend recently on facebook. i have already learned much from him, in his postings and links, but did not know much about him: his story. he gifted us all in a big way with a blog post on his birthday, and he has given me permission to share this with you here on my blog.

his story is real and raw and in so many ways my story, our story.  *"i am he as you are he as you are me as we are all together"*  it was a sharp reminder to me of all the years, so often lost in the blur of time, that are simply moments strung together, like bread crumbs left in the wilderness in order to find our way home.

thank-you Danny, for this gift of your story, to not only  know a deeper you, but also a deeper me. i believe this connection is the only thing that can save us in the end.

here is what he shared:

*"I am the Walrus" spooky tooth*


¡Vizcacha! said...

Congratulations on your anniversary. These are achievements that awe me.

(one of the Ducks)

Brian Many Wheels said...

Hi Katie....I forgot this month was your anniversary too....Happy Birthday!
Mine is also...the 10th I had 29 beans huh...!

Margaret D said...

WOW - 26 years! congratulations! I remember those dark years you had, which I heard about standing outside my dad's den, while the grapevine delivered him the hushed news. It's funny how our paths keep crossing, from you teaching me how to melt butter to put into cookie mix, then to recovery, now to our shared passion for knitting... keep following all your blessings, and with a little good fortune, I'll be right behind you!

hoboknitter said...

roxanne, it still awes me :-) thanks!

bri- i was thinking of you on yours. remembering spending my anni. with you in the desert last year down by the border at organ pipe!

margaret, it is so delightful to see you here! we do have so much shared history! we have been talking about a gathering on the farm. i know it would be hard with the family scattered so far and wide....but maybe worth a try :-)

Danny Showalter said...

Thanks for featuring my piece and for appreciating it so much. It really means a lot to me when something I feel and share resonates with others, and means a GREAT deal when it impacts someone like YOU, Katie. You're a gem.