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mother of josh, richard, and mutt. lover of books, yarn, and the quiet places. spinner, knitter, kayaker, survivor, vandweller, warrior.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

border crossings, or How Tara Came to Be My Hero

this blog post is gonna happen tonight thanks to johnny, and his nice comment about my poem. thank-you johnny, for the inspiration. i hadn't been able to find all the words before tonight.

i have recently resurrected a bunch of my writings that have long been hidden. putting them in my blog has been an act of defiance, and of hope.

it's not just my writings that have been resurrected, either. a whole big chunk of my spirit feels like it's breaking out all over. it feels good. it feels bad. it's confusing. my nerve endings are literally raw. but i am ready to let what happens, happen.

over the last couple years, i've "met" a few folks on the internet that i've had this instant, intense connection with. kindred spirits, they are. they always seem to pop out of the universe just when i need them, like daffodils after a dreary winter.

tara is one of them. at first she seemed like a most unlikely some ways, she's the antithesis of me. but in other ways, she is like my heart. she is the woman i want to grow up to be, the child i once was, the

NEWSFLASH: i hate my computer. last night i wrote this really long blog entry about border crossings. only, the draft autosave only worked for the first few paragraphs, so when i published, this is all the remained.

after a small meltdown, i am calmer. but i despair of ever recreating the post. i decided to stick this on the blog as a reminder, a teaser, a memorial. let's see what i can do to resurrect the thoughts.....


Anonymous said...

Oh, that's so sad. Computers suck. :(

I'm glad you like me tho. I've liked you since I was in that truckstop in NM.

Tara said...

Gah, computers suck. Blogger made me anonymous.

Johnny said...

Well, I have a few things to say to both you and Tara.

#1 Never trust technology.

I had just read tara's post "half-empty-or-half-full"
The last thing said in that post is "Im famous". You come to Kates blog and in an instant the gods of technology take that fame away from you and slap you with "anonymous". There is obviously a sign there but I'll leave it to you to figure out what the heck it is.

Then we have Kate who has her
inner thoughts and revelations sent to the electronic blogger post shredder.

Me on the other hand,still use pen and paper to write down my thoughts. A permanent record the elctronic spirits of the wired nether can't change or destroy.

I actually had a lot more to write to the both of you in this comment showing you both the errors of your ways, but my pen ran out of ink so I went to sleep. When I woke I really couldnt remember where I was going with this post :)

Don said...

Since I cannot spell worth c*#p, I like to compose on the pc then post to the blog or email or whatever by cut and pasting. The spell checkers are so much better in a word processor!

kate said...

johnny- that is too funny! poor tara! but hey! send me that pen! even without ink it can be useful. we just had a discussion at vandwellers about using a pen for a weapon. a girl can never have too many sharp things....

don- it took me forever to learn to cut and paste. don't know how to compose on the pc but i have yahoo notepad, so i tried that and it works! don't know if i have a spell checker though....

DeAnna said...

Hi Kate,

Not sure how I came across your blog a week or so ago. You seem to draw synchronicities. I was writing, in my head, a greeting to you. I could only get as far as "you are the person I want to grow up to be, or maybe the person I am but on a separate and parallel path..." and then it trailed off in my mind and I couldn't think where to go from there. Odd that blogger decided that was the same spot that your post about tara should end :)

So, screw the poetics, and I'll just get to my point, which is that I think you're pretty groovy. I look forward to reading more.